Dear The Free Press

​I just emailed this to The Free Press:
 
Dear The Free Press,
I am writing to you because of your reputation as champions of bold, heterodox thinking.  You are known to take brave stances that the stodgy, mainstream press has long been afraid to publish.  While universities across the countries bow their heads to communist and antifa-sympathizing student radicals, you firmly plant your flag in the firmament and say, “No, more.  This ends here.”

So, I would like to propose that you allow me to - free of charge – provide a one hour lecture to your staff at a day and time of your choosing.  My topic will be as follows: your absolute ass-pilfered, morally constipated garbage-brained gum-fuckery.  The contents of your intestines have somehow replaced your brains.  Where your bunghole once was, your eyeballs must now be, because you couldn’t see your way out of a shit-filled diaper.  Your cultural references lack the sophistication of a greasy little cockroach condom.  Your pedantry is barely risible due to the simple fact that its inarticulate blather is hardly more coherent than the pus exploding from a dead skunk’s rotting corpse.  The most horrific farts I have ever smelled have had more jeua de vivre than your nihilistic grifting confidences.    The way your pseudo-intellectual fumblings scour the American neo-fascist underbelly, searching tentacle-like for erogenous positions has no doubt earned you legitimate financial and institutional scalps.  And I imagine they will fit well onto your scabrous pate, soiled as it is after being plucked not only of every moral fiber but so too of anything resembling human skin.  And in the end maybe this is what your ultimate form will reveal: a cacophonous simulacrum of the angry man, a blistered plastique in the form of human hate, nothing but inorganic, toxic oozes, more manure than man.

Please Be In Touch,
 
If anyone there reads it, no doubt they will miss the point.  Which is that their shrill outrage over college students shouting down or refusing to platform speakers and calling it illiberal is hypocritical when I propose they invite me to give them a lecture in which I spew vile hate at them.

To put a finer point on it, to have a CK or any of countless other RW ghouls speak at your college means having them say either explicitly or imply the racial or cultural inferiority of minorities, of women, of other religions, of sexual identities being psychologically damaged, or dangerous.
Nothing I wrote in that letter touched on anyone's identity at The Free Press.  There was no broad claim that transcended and trapped the individual into membership of a broader, delegitimized class based on some arbitrary feature.

Every insult I lobbed essentially came down to personal failure.  There is at least in insults of this nature an acknowledgement of the person - that they may have failed, but they themselves *could have done better*.

​Bigotries on the other hand (which the FP loves to rescue) make no such allowance.  There is simply no escape.  This is why their logic is ultimately at best caste-based and at worst genocidal.
So any umbrage one might take at the absurdity of sitting through a lecture such as I proposed, imagine how much darker and infuriating one must be in which the words are not mere insults but directed at one's entire social class.
 
And then, adding to this insult, we have civic institutions asking everyone to politely go along for the ride.  Sit down, shut up and be good boys and girls.